I Don't Like Sparklers and Snakes!

An article in last week's Journal & Topics was brought to our attention by a PRU reader -- Firework Crackdown Includes Common Items.

In the article, Park Ridge Fire Department Lt. Jeff Sorensen is quoted as saying, "My whole thing is just life safety." We appreciate your thing, sir, but sparklers and snakes?

The piece offers the following: "The ordinance bans anything that produces "a visible or audible effect by combustion, explosion or deflagration or detonation." That includes items like sparklers or snakes that are legal under state law."

The article goes on to explain, "There have also been reports of injuries from fireworks, including the sparklers that parents often give to their children.

He said a parent once told him her 2-year-old was too smart to be burned from the 1800-degree rod in his hand."

Our PRU reader submitted the following remarks on the topic:

Open letter to Lt. Jeff Sorensen:

What is next for regulation in this town? My stove? In your explanation regarding the new ordinance, you are quoted as saying "anything that could hurt people or start fires." I am left thinking that since it has a flame, and you have jumped to conclusions that we are incapable of parenting our children, that perhaps that is next.

Or maybe it will be the hot water heater. Again, since the assumption is that we cannot control our children, then we can't be trusted to monitor the gauge so as to keep them from being hurt. Snakes and Sparklers are no longer available for purchase or to be used in Park Ridge? Good grief!

This used to be a wonderful place to live and raise a family. Now it is a constant wonder of big brother and lousy government. Give us a little credit. Any parent that would hand a sparkler to a two-year old and say they are too smart to get burned will need a lot more coaching than your just banning sparklers.

Crack down on the criminals who are transporting illegal fireworks over the state lines; who keep us up at night with their illegal activity; who raise the potential of burning branches or property damage and who risk personal injury. Leave us alone with our simple display of independence and let us have our sparklers and snakes back. I will read with great interest the time a tree is burned down by a snake!

It seems to the reader, and to the PRU Crew too, that the new ordinance and Lt. Sorensen may be a bit over-zealous in attempts to keep the children of Park Ridge out of harms way.

We get the feeling that the next child-protective ordinance the City will pass is that all children under the age of eighteen will be required to wear bubble wrap!



And the whole sparklers and snakes ban reminded the PRU Crew of another item we recently read in the local press -- Decorative blue stones have downsides for library leaders.

In that article readers learn that Library Director, Ms. Janet "Van De Carr said members of the board are unhappy with the look of the bluestone and the fact that it is often kicked outside the area and tracked into the library. The board has also expressed concern about small children putting the stones in their mouths and about larger rocks around the tree being thrown." (emphasis added)

The PRU Crew knew about kids eating bugs and boogers, but we have to admit we had no idea about them eating rocks. Throwing rocks, yes. Eating rocks, no. We learn something new every day. Whether we like it or not.

Still, we can't help but feel that either somebody got children and chickens confused, or some parents may need to consult a nutrition expert about what may be missing from their kid's diet. Barring that, we'd like to suggest an old standby...



A little strip over the little kid pie hole and you're good to go for a trip to the Library!

Silence is golden! Duct tape is silver!

And while we're on the subject, we'd also like to suggest...



...for dumbass parents who would give anything combustible to a two year old!