Ode to Alderman DreadBach!

Hey, DreadBach! We found your letter in the Journal & Topics very inspiring!

To the Carly Simon tune 'You're So Vain'

(midi file) Right click to open, then minimize your player

You walked onto the Council
Like you were some kind of big hot shot
Your seat strategically meant to aid Frimark
You're a pawn in his power plot
You had both eyes on the Mayor as
You let Public Works go to pot
And all our streets seemed that they needed salting
Our streets needed salting, and

You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
We bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

You've had many chances to prove yourself
And vote very thoughtfully
Well, you said you wouldn't spend your money with Napleton
And you said it indignantly
Then you gave away our town's money
And now it's a mess we can see
You cast your vote and you screwed it up big time
Screwed it up big time, and

You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
We bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

Well we hear you went up to watch old Greenbay
And you and Frimark had fun
You were seen at the game on that special Sunday
Like you're Frimark's adopted son
Well, you vote like Frimark wants you to
And when you don't, you are still
Making quite sure that it's okay with Frimark
Okay with Frimark, and

You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
We bet you think this blog is about you
Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?

You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you
You're so vain
You probably think this blog is about you...

Enjoy the weekend!

Park Ridge Wonderland!

Our inspiration: 'Typo' or zoning loophole? - Park Ridge Herald-Advocate

For desired accompaniment: Winter Wonderland
(Click on traditional arrangement)

Hey, Park Ridge
Are you listening
In Uptown
Steel is glistening
A beautiful sight
If you're a builder tonight
Walking in a Park Ridge Wonderland

Gone away is the green space
In its place is a disgrace
A four-story hulk
With way too much bulk
Looming in a Park Ridge Wonderland

In the future we can build more condos
Then pretend that density is good
Why not build them higher?
Call them "Mondos"!
And you can say good-bye
To your old 'hood

Once again
They'll conspire
To go up even higher
And face unafraid
The zoning code that we've made
Building in a Park Ridge Wonderland

In the Uptown we can spend TIF dollars
And pretend that we are flush with cash
We'll have lots of fun with those TIF dollars
Unless a downturn bites us in the ass

Years from now
Reminiscing
Open space we'll be missing
What will we say
About back in the day
Living in a Park Ridge Wonderland

What will we say
About back in the day
Walking in a Park Ridge Wonderland

Hooray for Howardwood!

Again, for those who need or appreciate musical accompaniment:
Hooray for Howardwood MIDI or MP3 Right click, then open in new
window, then click choice of player, then minimize the window.

Hooray for Howardwood!
That screwy, ballyhooey Howardwood
Where any businessman or old home owner
Can be a donor, with just the stroke of a pen
We won't bewilder a single builder
If he lobbies all of our aldermen

Hooray for Howardwood!
Where you're terrific, though you've not been good
Where anyone at all from Norwood Builders
To bulk meat sellers is equally understood
Come here and try your luck, we think you'll make a buck
Hooray for Howardwood!

Hooray for Howardwood!
That phoney, super tony Howardwood
They come from downtown with their hot shot lawyers
Green space destroyers, to get their code variance
All armed with papers to aid their capers
With their mouths in high gear for fees advanced

Hooray for Howardwood!
You may be cozy in your neighborhood
But if you think that it can stay that way now
Then we should pow wow, because it's not looking good
With density and height, things could get real tight
Hooray for Howardwood!

We Heard It Through The Grapevine.

Norwood's condo plan was again deferred by the city council on Monday night. We hear Norwood's Park Ridge 2004 LLC has a lobbying ally on the city council.

Ever the development loyalist, we hear Alderman Robert Ryan is doing his best to engineer a council majority to give Norwood a variance or two. With Ryan's long-standing relationships in the building community, we are not surprised by this turn of Norwood's fortunes.

Without further ado, we offer to you our melodious tribute to Alderman Ryan -

For those of you who need or appreciate bad, really really bad, karaoke accompaniment, this link is for you!

Heard It Through The Grapevine

You can right click it, click open in a new window, then minimize it. Enjoy!

Ooh, we bet you wonder how we know
About you're plan to make a go
With Norwood's guys lookin' to make more dough.
Between Norwood and you it's
A dog and pony show.
It wasn't a surprise we must say,
When we found out yesterday.
Don't you know...

(Chorus)
We heard it through the grapevine
Not much backbone up in your spine.
Oh we heard it through the grapevine,
Cause some folks sure do like to drop a dime.
Robbie, Robbie, yeah.

We know voters ain't supposed to cry,
But you're leaving yours high and dry.
Choosin' you to represent their views
Means that now they're really screwed.
You could have told them yourself
That you shill for someone else.
Instead...

(Chorus)
They heard it through the grapevine
Not much backbone up in your spine.
Oh we heard it through the grapevine,
Cause some folks sure know where to drop a dime.
Robbie, Robbie, yeah.

People say believe half of what you see,
Some, and none of what you hear.
We can't help bein' confused
If it's true please tell us dear.
Do you plan to still vote "no"
Or, sell out on the new zoning code?
Don't you know...

(Chorus)
We heard it through the grapevine
Not much backbone up in your spine.
Oh we heard it through the grapevine,
Oh we had hoped you wouldn't be a slime.
Robbie, Robbie, yeah.

Daddy, I Want A Variance!

Veruca Salt

Developers must reduce condo project to build

"A developer seeking to construct four condominiums in Park Ridge's Executive Plaza will be allowed to do so -- as long as the project follows rules set in the city's new zoning ordinance." (emphasis added)

Full story: http://www.pioneerlocal.com/parkridge/news/522239,pr-execplaza-082307-s1.article

So, no golden goose egg for Norwood or any other partners in Norwood's Park Ridge 2004 LLC.

Several sources report that the developer is really pissed!

We would be pissed too if we'd made campaign contributions to Mayor Frimark, and the Citizens for Strong Schools committee headed by Mayoral friend and supporter, former 5th Ward Alderman Steve Huening, and all we got (so far) was a lousy zoning map amendment! We're willing to bet this will be a topic of discussion between Mr. Huening and his friend, current 5th Ward Alderman Robert Ryan, on one of their walks.

Norwood is purported to have fired their attorney, insider and zoning-guru, Mr. Jack Owens. We can't say for sure, but we suspect the "guru" part has something to do with the "insider" part.

Sources also tell us any revised plan presented to the city council will completely nix senior housing, underground parking, dedication of Touhy Ave. frontage, and the community park.

In other words, "Take that! Hmmph!"

That's known as throwing a temper tantrum...or as we like to call it, being a Veruca.

We won't belabor the issue but,

• The "senior housing" portion of the plan simply wasn't...




• The underground parking was a selling point for buyers, who are likely to be familiar with the delights of midwestern winters, as well as allowing the developer to "bury" one story of each of the buildings underground.




• The dedication of land along Touhy Ave. was moot, as the State can take whatever portion of property it deems necessary if Touhy is widened...




• While the "community park" was likely to be just the community of condo. residents' park.

But rest assured, we're pretty certain the 55-and-over set may make up a significant portion of buyers for units in a redevelopment of this nature; maybe as many as 50 out of the 160+/- units to be built? And the condo. association can always pass out brochures on behalf of Presbyterian Homes; the same brochures that the on-sight Presbyterian Homes sales office would have had if the plan were approved as, well, planned.

There's still one more council reading of the ordinance to go. We hope the council doesn't cave to the pressure that is probably being applied at this very moment. Though we think it's safe to assume nobody is dropping off any boxes of meat at city hall and saying "thank you for your time".

Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
If you are wise you will listen to me


Who do you blame when a project is slowed
Too dense and tall for the zoning code?
Blaming the council is a crying shame.
You know exactly who's to blame:
The greedy re-developer!


Oompa Loompa doompadee dah
You thought Jack was the variance czar
But now you know that it is not true
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do

Lullaby and Goodnight to Zero Tolerance?

In an inspired demonstration of thinking outside the box-ed wine, 4th Ward Alderman James Allspaghetti and 3rd Ward Alderman Don DreadBach let it be known, at a city council Public Safety Committee meeting, that they do not appreciate full enforcement of the Zero Tolerance law by police in Park Ridge.

Let's see now - a DUI defense attorney and a childless telephone technician are opposing full enforcement of the zero tolerance law for underage drinking.

We see Park Ridge parents' concerns are being well represented by these two.















Lullaby, and good night,

You're never too young to get tight,

Belly-up and chug-a-lug,

Liquor's good as any drug.

Dream of beer, not the cops,

We won't let them bust your chops.