The Whimsy Beneath Our Wings

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Welcome to the weekend.

Fall Gal.

Chief seeks to fire officer charged with lying in probe

PR H-A :: News :: Item 3

"A Park Ridge police officer has been suspended without pay, pending a Sept. 4 disciplinary hearing where the Board of Fire and Police Commissioners will decide whether she should be terminated from the police force."

Obviously, Denmark hasn't cornered the market on rotten.

Officer Lisa Smith will be sacrificed on the altar of Do Something! so that the golden fleece boy, who answered the siren's call - hi there, Hoopty Lou, how's it going in traffic? - can be kept safe for future use as a PRPD pitchman; there are not too many coppers with the ability to speak and write impressive sounding bullshit as well as Hoopty Lou can.

Then there is the ass of the brass that has to be covered - cut one out, and probable demotions for the rest of the trouble makers should get the job done - in other words, the beatings will continue until morale improves.

Lest residents become alarmed at the current internal state of the PRPD, they can have Coffee with the cops and be assured that all is well.

Officer Smith has a reputation in the department as a tough, take-no-garbage, stand up and be counted gal. Which means, she makes some people uncomfortable. Though, we must admit we sure do think she's been stupid about this whole thing.

Here's a hint Officer Smith, if you're going to be a whistle blower, you actually have to put your lips together and blow.

The cost of tuition for this life lesson will probably be her job.

Do be sure to look for more in-depth reporting on this story from our local press. After all, there's nothing sweeter than revenge. We're just not sure a ticket for running a stop sign merits ugly coverage.

A PRU Peek!

We've gotten hold of the plans for the redesigned Norwood/Park Ridge 2004 LLC project at Executive Office Plaza!

Take a look!

Their architect appears to have come up with a radical solution for resident parking!



With more and more multi-unit residential developments coming to Park Ridge, we think this could start to catch on!

Sandbagged!

At least one desperate Park Ridge resident who called city hall to ask about getting sandbags was told, yes, she could have some. Five, to be exact. That's all.

"Tina O'Donnell and an army of seven friends and family members donned rubber gloves at her home on Goodwin Drive. The teacher has been staying at a friend's since her basement became filled with 3 feet of foul-smelling water.

The power to her house finally came back on during the cleanup effort at noon, nearly 72 hours after it was lost. The water in her basement receded on its own, and she was relieved to hear that the river, about a quarter of a mile west, was going down.

Despite the positive news, O'Donnell remains frustrated with the city's response. She said that when she called city hall about sandbags, she was told five was the limit.

"What good would that have done?" O'Donnell says. "And it would be nice to know what's going on. Other people got notes in their mailboxes. I haven't."

Full story: Daily Herald Relief as river begins to recede

For Ms. O'Donnell, and others, we'd like to suggest the following:

Those should come in handy during any future flooding.

They should also come in handy when city hall begins 'splaining its' handling of the storm's aftermath.

R.I.P.

L. Richard Borchardt: 1933 - 2007

Long time Park Ridge resident, and friend of ours.

We will miss him very much.

Drop the Chicken and Put Your Hands Up!

Koch Foods had search warrants executed on its' Park Ridge, Ill. headquarters and Fairfield, Oh. processing plant today.

Seems the privately held, Park Ridge based, poultry wholesaler was enhancing it's bottom line by employing a rather large number of illegal aliens in it's labor force.

160 employees at the Fairfield, Oh. plant were arrested. Another 180 were "identified for further questioning". The plant employs about 500 workers.

Full story: Immigration Raids Ohio Chicken Plant

Koch Foods issued a press release this afternoon, saying they are cooperating fully with the investigation by Immigration and Customs Enforcement. We think that's a wise decision, since we hear "water-boarding" can be an unpleasant experience.

Though, we just don't understand all the ruckus over illegal aliens. They make our lawns look pretty, and we hear they taste just like chicken.

Call...

...if you've got a beef with the Park Ridge Police Department!

Park Ridge resident, Jayne Reardon, has shown herself to be one of Park Ridge's finest. After having a most unfortunate encounter with some of Park Ridge's much-less-than-finest police officers, Ms. Reardon made the effort to see to it the police department brass got their department policy ass in gear.

Unfortunately for the PRPD, they didn't, and Ms. Reardon has had to make her concerns very public.

She's attended city council meetings and, after having had her concerns covered in the local rags, has received countless telephone calls from residents eager to share their own stories of police drama woe with her.

Amity Jayne Reardon has acted as a voice of the people on this issue, and has done a very respectable job of it. A lesson to which we hope each and every elected official and city staffer is paying very close attention and taking notes.

Ms. Reardon comes fully loaded with impeccable credentials and an impressive title: Deputy Director for the Commission on Professionalism of the Illinois Supreme Court.

That would be THE Illinois Supreme Court, thankyouverymuch!

In other words, the city and police department administration aren't likely to win any game of hide-the-complaint-salami with this woman.

Even cranking up selected members from the Usual Suspects Club, to write glowing letters of praise for the local rags about the police in Park Ridge, probably won't have the desired effect of deterring Ms. Reardon from her self-appointed rounds with city officials on this issue.

As Ms. Reardon has discovered, the command of fear is run silent, run deep. But we say, damn the torpedoes Jayne! Full speed ahead!

We admit it, we are shameless in our adoration for those who step-up to the plate and take a swing at making their local government accountable. We're even more shameless in our adoration for those who do so on such touchy subjects as highly questionable conduct by police officers.

Pop Quiz!

The above picture is of:

a) Park Ridge police officers and vehicles.

b) ComEd's public relations team.

c) A public relations effort by the PRPD to appear "resident-friendly".

d) All of the above.

If you answered "d", you are correct!

Park Ridge police were passing out fliers letting residents know that ComEd is hard at work:

Those "STOP MEANS STOP" signs must be working perfectly!

The PRPD/ComEd flyer doesn't have a ComEd number to call for residents who are still without power.

But, the city web site does: http://www.parkridge.us/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=150

We can't claim any expertise in the mysteries of electrical engineering, but we're pretty sure the city's web site can't be viewed by residents who might be seeking information on how to contact ComEd if those residents don't have power to do so.

Daddy, I Want A Variance!

Veruca Salt

Developers must reduce condo project to build

"A developer seeking to construct four condominiums in Park Ridge's Executive Plaza will be allowed to do so -- as long as the project follows rules set in the city's new zoning ordinance." (emphasis added)

Full story: http://www.pioneerlocal.com/parkridge/news/522239,pr-execplaza-082307-s1.article

So, no golden goose egg for Norwood or any other partners in Norwood's Park Ridge 2004 LLC.

Several sources report that the developer is really pissed!

We would be pissed too if we'd made campaign contributions to Mayor Frimark, and the Citizens for Strong Schools committee headed by Mayoral friend and supporter, former 5th Ward Alderman Steve Huening, and all we got (so far) was a lousy zoning map amendment! We're willing to bet this will be a topic of discussion between Mr. Huening and his friend, current 5th Ward Alderman Robert Ryan, on one of their walks.

Norwood is purported to have fired their attorney, insider and zoning-guru, Mr. Jack Owens. We can't say for sure, but we suspect the "guru" part has something to do with the "insider" part.

Sources also tell us any revised plan presented to the city council will completely nix senior housing, underground parking, dedication of Touhy Ave. frontage, and the community park.

In other words, "Take that! Hmmph!"

That's known as throwing a temper tantrum...or as we like to call it, being a Veruca.

We won't belabor the issue but,

• The "senior housing" portion of the plan simply wasn't...




• The underground parking was a selling point for buyers, who are likely to be familiar with the delights of midwestern winters, as well as allowing the developer to "bury" one story of each of the buildings underground.




• The dedication of land along Touhy Ave. was moot, as the State can take whatever portion of property it deems necessary if Touhy is widened...




• While the "community park" was likely to be just the community of condo. residents' park.

But rest assured, we're pretty certain the 55-and-over set may make up a significant portion of buyers for units in a redevelopment of this nature; maybe as many as 50 out of the 160+/- units to be built? And the condo. association can always pass out brochures on behalf of Presbyterian Homes; the same brochures that the on-sight Presbyterian Homes sales office would have had if the plan were approved as, well, planned.

There's still one more council reading of the ordinance to go. We hope the council doesn't cave to the pressure that is probably being applied at this very moment. Though we think it's safe to assume nobody is dropping off any boxes of meat at city hall and saying "thank you for your time".

Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
If you are wise you will listen to me


Who do you blame when a project is slowed
Too dense and tall for the zoning code?
Blaming the council is a crying shame.
You know exactly who's to blame:
The greedy re-developer!


Oompa Loompa doompadee dah
You thought Jack was the variance czar
But now you know that it is not true
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do

Hat Trick!

Liquor Board Serves Up 3 New Licenses

"Mayor Howard Frimark reclused himself from the discussions of all three licenses as each business has asked his insurance agency for quotes. Tony Amelio ran the meeting instead."

Full story: http://www.journal-topics.com/business/07/biz070815.4.html

Howard Frimark's Hats

Mayor
Liquor Commissioner
Insurance Salesman

Score!

Liquor Board appointed by the Mayor - $0 dollars
Three new liquor licenses - $350 each
Three new insurance clients for Frimark - Priceless!

The Frimarkenstein Place!

Mayor Howard P. Frimark is living proof that sometimes democracy can be a real drag.

While we must admit we think he looks stunning in thigh-high fishnets and hooker-heels, we recognize he is a man of his people...so his usual Judge Smails "Caddyshack" regalia is de rigeur.

We also understand his people aren't the Hooters girls hired as "temporary waitresses" for his Park Ridge Country Club Plae Dae event. We hear there's a lot of pressure being applied to a certain building developer and Park Ridge Country Club member to settle his case with the "temporary waitress" who's accused him of assaulting her.

The "temporary waitress" is probably unwilling to settle for just a new pair of thigh-high fishnets and hooker-heels, Nor-wood we. We think the "temporary waitress" should hold out for fuzzy handcuffs and a fancy leather riding crop too!

It remains to be seen if the Mayor and his people can persuade the stubborn developer to settle the case and keep them all out of court and the public eye.

After all, having their country club sexcapades exposed to the public light could be a real drag.

Lullaby and Goodnight to Zero Tolerance?

In an inspired demonstration of thinking outside the box-ed wine, 4th Ward Alderman James Allspaghetti and 3rd Ward Alderman Don DreadBach let it be known, at a city council Public Safety Committee meeting, that they do not appreciate full enforcement of the Zero Tolerance law by police in Park Ridge.

Let's see now - a DUI defense attorney and a childless telephone technician are opposing full enforcement of the zero tolerance law for underage drinking.

We see Park Ridge parents' concerns are being well represented by these two.















Lullaby, and good night,

You're never too young to get tight,

Belly-up and chug-a-lug,

Liquor's good as any drug.

Dream of beer, not the cops,

We won't let them bust your chops.

Welcome to Park Ridge Underground.

Leave your prissy tasseled loafers at the door - we'll loan you a pair of Doc Martens.

We are, as our header says, irreverent and unrepentant in our opinions.

If hard driving sentiment with a dash of twisted humor is not your cup of venti caffé mocha then don't let the cyber-door hit you in the ass as you exit.

And don't forget to take your prissy tasseled loafers with you!