Budget BOHICA Recap!

As always, we thank PRU readers for their patience as the Crew gets its reports and act together -- our source reports indicate last night's meeting was even more than the usual cluster fudge, so it has taken us a bit of time to sort through things.

Our sources report that once again, in keeping with the hallmarks of the Frimark administration, the City Council approved the fiscal 2009/10 budget which, by all accounts, remains unbalanced -- there is still a $1.8 million deficit in the overall budget.

Despite the looming budget deficit, Benedict Alderman Robert Ryan (5th ward) recommended restoring full funding to various community groups, along with restoring funding for weekend cleaning of Uptown. In reference to community groups, we are told Ryan said "every dollar spent on volunteer community groups returns 20% in value." We're going to let that stand as it's own punchline.

However, we do agree with Ryan's preference for continuing to fund weekend cleaning of Uptown. We mean this in the nicest way -- people are slobs -- maintaining some level of tidiness in one of our core business districts would seem to be an imperative.

In reaction to Benedict Ald. Ryan's comments, some member(s) of the audience engaged in muffled laughter, at which time Benedict Ald. Ryan complained to outgoing Mayor Howard of "audience noise." Outgoing Mayor Howard, never one to miss a chance to be petty, punitive and unprofessional, seized his last council meeting opportunity to prove the city budget isn't the only thing in city government that could be considered undeniably unbalanced. We are told outgoing Mayor Howard commanded that audience members refrain from "smirking or smiling", and they may not raise their hands. Outgoing Mayor Howard also threatened that he would demand acting Chief of Police Tom Swoboda physically remove anyone "smirking or smiling or raising their hands." We are told that these directives were issued in general terms but meant for those who have consistently opposed outgoing Mayor Howard's public policies and political positions.

The PRU Crew is wondering if after May 4th, we'll have anything fun like this to report to readers once outgoing Mayor Howard's powers are truly and finally taken away.

After the fun died down, our sources tell us Alderman Frank Wsooooolman (7th ward) made a motion to amend the budget and eliminate the 5% water rate increase, based in large part on the idea that the water fund is showing a $3 million dollar surplus. The motion was seconded by Mayor-elect Dave Schmidtzkrieg (1st ward) for the purpose of discussion.

As we understand it, Ald. Wsooooolman believes the water fund surplus should be drawn down in order to ease the fee burden on residents during this recession period. And Ald. Wsooooolman suggested that a new fund be created to combine the water and sewer fees which will then be used for various water and sewer related expenses, such as flood mitigation efforts.

On the surface, Ald. Wsooooolman's suggestion sounds reasonable. However, what the PRU Crew understands about municipal finance, funding, and fund accounting, reveals Ald. Wsooooolman's lack of understanding -- not in suggesting a combined water and sewer enterprise fund, but rather in suggesting that a $3 million water fund balance should be drawn down.

Without going into too much detail, we would like to point out that the general fund and nearly every other city fund is in deficit with projected deficits for the coming year. If you draw down one of the few city funds that have a surplus, you are likely to spend your way into bankruptcy.

We are told that Benedict Alderman Robert Ryan (5th ward) stated his understanding of the water fund is that it is used to fund other city projects -- revealing that Ryan does not understand the nature of municipal accounting and what is meant by "restricted funds." When Ryan made this statement, he then looked to Diane Lembesis the Director of Finance for confirmation of his statement, by saying, "Isn't that true?" Ms. Lembesis succinctly answered, "No."

Our sources report that, at this point, audience members tried to stuff their feet in their mouths to keep from "smirking, smiling, or raising their hands", and they tried hard not to laugh either.

The discussion of Ald. Wsooooolman's amendment also included a lengthy critique from Alderman James Allspaghetti (4th ward), which included Allspaghetti criticizing Ald. Schmidtzkrieg for seconding Ald. Wsooooolman's amendment, as Allspaghetti thought Schmidtzkrieg was in support of the 5% water rate increase.

When it was Mayor-elect Schmidtzkrieg's turn to speak, he explained to Ald. Allspaghetti that he believes when an alderman brings a motion to the council it should be "a courtesy to second a motion for discussion." PRUdos to Mayor-elect Schmidtzkrieg. And the PRU Crew finds it ironic but honorable in the extreme that Mayor-elect Schmidtzkrieg extended this courtesy to Ald. Wsooooolman, when Ald. Wsooooolman has previously failed to do the same.

When the council was finally ready to vote on Ald. Wsooooolman's amendment, it was defeated by a 2 to 4 show of hands, because Robert's Rules of Order are just so much stuffiness.

After more nonsensical and circular back and forth among the council, a final vote on the city budget was taken.

The unbalanced city budget was approved 4 (Schmidt, DiPietro, Allegretti, and Carey) to 2 (Wsol and Ryan).

B.O.H.I.C.A!

We've also received reports that outgoing Mayor Howard requested a police escort to his car after the meeting. We assume this is because Mayor Howard believes someone or anyone may want to physically do harm to him. We do not believe this for a moment. Mayor Howard is soon to become an unfortunate footnote in Park Ridge's history. He lost. He's almost gone -- literally and figuratively.

To outgoing Mayor Howard, the PRU Crew would like to offer the following thoughts on the subject -- we think the unkindest cut of all is leaving you perfectly intact to have to feel, be fully aware of, and live through each dying moment of your mayoral reign. And we believe everyone else understands that too. So don't worry yourself about it. Nobody wants you to miss a thing in the days to come.